#24 Uncertainties
Uncertainty... it's a word I've heard so much lately that it's become less uncomfortable.
We seem to be living in uncertain times, and some of those uncertain times are even unbelievable, but I haven't written for so long that I think it's best to start with a beautiful part.
We adopted one of the local customs for this time of year - we're definitely going to import this custom - and were photographed (thanks Elaine and company!) at one of our favorite spots, the Seal Beach Pier. We had a few laughs, did some magazine poses, loved the end result, got equipped for postcards, calendars and all kinds of cute merchandizing, and distributed these images to some of our people around the world. For the others reading this right now, please feel the same. I've probably missed your address. A thousand pardons!
The end of the year/semester/season/ etc is universal and chaotic.
Peaks of work, festivals of all kinds inside and outside the school, gatherings of friends, Christmas concerts, thesis defenses, and presentations of final papers, both here and in Portugal, cakes and cookies coming in and out of the oven, wonderful get-togethers...
A rush that was as delicious as it was exhausting.
And with all the expectations running high, packing (so many!) suitcases, sending 327 postcards, shopping and lists of everything and anything, plans for meetings in Europe over Christmas, New Year, and the Three Kings, anticipating all possible weather conditions without exceeding load limits, leaving Mel with my dear student Amalia, as this time a stay with the usual grandparents wasn't possible, and off we go.
Coming home for Christmas never said it better...
The airports at Christmas... so many people on the move...
We braved kilos of luggage, RX passages, borders, and turbulence, and when we landed in Lisbon, and all got on the bus, there were several families with lots of children talking about grandparents. About soup and codfish. And the grandchildren asking where are they? And everyone comes to the same conclusion that grandparents are indeed a great institution and that Christmas without grandparents isn't Christmas. Never mind the (many!) kilometers on their bodies.
Coming home is, as always, wonderful. We surrender to the sheets, realizing that the best bed on the planet is mine, the best smell and the best sound of birds at dawn is in Parede, and the tastiest sea breeze is from the Atlantic. And I was alone and jet-lagged, watching the sunrise from the best spot in our garden. And although it was freezing, it felt very cozy.
As soon as everyone got out of bed, we set about decorating the house in an organized way, and before long, Christmas had arrived in our little corner.
We drank coffee by the window with the dear neighbors and headed for Sunday lunch at the grandparents' house to squeeze Pepi and Lucía, who had already arrived from Norway. Grandma São, who can't remember the last time she had her children and grandchildren together for Sunday lunch as a family, was in a tizzy. Happiness exists, and it's on these days that you can feel it.
After a delicious lunch in every sense with grandparents and uncles, thanks to the impeccable organization and availability of Miguel and company and the spectacular synchronization of everyone's schedules, we managed to spend the afternoon catching up and enjoying another Christmas among the best friends there are, who are also mine. Maybe that sounds a bit narcissistic, but it's true. I'm fortunate with friends all over the world. The best ones are really mine. The funny thing about this wonderful day was that it was so intensely good that I didn't take a single photo. Patience!
On Christmas morning, I had an undertaking with my brother. One of the highlights of Christmas is making filhozes. They're such a hassle that there's no getting away from it, and as we're both stuck with it, it's the time of year when we catch up on everything. TOP!
We still managed to distribute hugs, filhozes and the best wishes to the best neighbors in Parede and the surrounding area - this is getting repetitive - and Christmas was a real treat.
The days went by too quickly; we didn't catch up on all we wanted to do, my children were constantly asking us to be at home, and the wonderful meetings were always too short.
Suitcases, more planes, and next destination Valencia. Landing in Valencia after such a long time (2 years!) without going there was exciting for everyone, and we headed straight to Dénia for more grandparents, uncles, cousins, and friends. Pepi and Lucía deciding to come to Valencia and spend the end of the year together was a spectacular idea, and we were able to revisit places where we had once been very happy with them.
In an unlikely combination, I brought my two sisters-in-law together for the last day of the year. Despite being completely different, they share a common language and the fact that they are both badass.
Neither Lucía nor Susana let anyone mess with them, each in their own unique way.
I started my relationships with both of them through a mix of respect and friendly rivalry. They reciprocated in kind. The three of us grew, and so did our relationships. Now, I'm proud to count them both as my chosen family. I trust them completely with my children, and I admire how authentically bold and capable they are. And I think I share some of that spirit, too.
Women's aliances are powerful, and I really like this one.
We went back to Valencia to get more hugs and enjoy this city that we love so much, and it was a really good few days. Although on the way from Dénia to Valencia, the result of the floods was noticeable, with mountains of cars piled up along the road, we didn't notice anything in the city itself. Just a lot of excited people preparing for the Three Kings, fantastic food and snacks, and the feeling that, despite the time and distance, it's like we just met yesterday.
Once again, there's not enough time to do everything we'd like.
Maria surprised her best friend, who moved from Lisbon to Madrid, and for the first time on her own, she got on a train and spent the day in Madrid. A new and wonderful experience for her and a new and anxious one for us. But the conspiracy of the mothers and the smiles on the faces of the daughters on that day in this beautiful city was a real success. Thank you, Mónica ;)
The Three Kings' Parade was in full swing, followed by a welcome with hot chocolate and Roscón in the usual good company. After that, we returned to Dénia for the night of the Three Kings. It's clear that we did well, and both Santa Claus and the Three Kings were generous.
We had lunch with the grandpas, packed our bags again, began our round of goodbyes, and returned to the airport. So many of us live far away that we even meet up with family and friends at the airport. It's exhausting and the most expensive time of the year to travel. But it's worth every moment.
We went back to the grandparents' house in Lisbon to sleep for a night, had a wonderful dinner, and left the grandchildren and grandparents together to enjoy the last moments before we left, and the following day, more packing and more goodbyes. God, it would be handy if it were possible to speed up these moments so they didn't cost so much. When we tried to buy the return trips to Los Angeles, we realized that it was worth flying through NY, and in a moment of delirium, the husband suggested making a technical stop to "rest" in NY, and I immediately thought it was a brilliant idea..
When we tried to buy the return trips to Los Angeles, we realized that it was worth flying through NY, and in a moment of delirium, the husband suggests making a technical stop to "rest" in NY, and I immediately think it's a brilliant idea.
Without much thought, we prepared a suitable itinerary for the 3 kids, Janet lent us everything thermal to withstand the cold of the East Coast at this time of year, and we landed in this incredible city.
Of all the times I've been to NY, this was by far the coldest (it feels like -16ºC) with the wind hurting our cheeks - I just wanted to say bad words! - the time with the most logistics, trying to manage suitcases, backpacks, and five pairs of gloves, scarves, and hats.... overcoming several dozen child-sized steps a day... and interspersing interesting programs for adults, without boring children and vice versa... getting on and off the subway with stairs and strollers, and seeing a genuine WOW on their faces and in unison.
It was one of the most spectacular family trips.
They loved the city still smelling of Christmas, they recognized movie spots, and they chose the Moma and the Natural History Museum as the most incredible warm places. Shake Shake is good, but In-n-Out is unanimously better; the most beautiful Christmas tree in the world is in Rockefeller, Central Park is even bigger than they thought, and NY-style pizza is better than what we find in Southern California. Still, it doesn't beat the Neapolitan style we find in Italy.
Matias had to be covered with a blanket in his stroller to stop him from denying the cold, and he reinforced the idea that he doesn't want to live in cold weather, only in warm weather, like in his beloved California. NY is beautiful but it's horribly cold, he prefers warm wind, not cold, just warm, he repeated this several times a day.
In the spirit of the broken but happy, we bought tickets for the Lion King for the 3 girl. Feeling sorry for the boys, Maria thought she'd try her luck in a last-minute ticket lottery for the same show. As uncertain as it was unbelievable, it was worth entering all 5 emails in the lottery because she won 2 more tickets at ridiculous prices, and the 5 of us went!
Matias, who had initially been left out of the plans for this program, took a nap in the Subway and gave a standing ovation with his eyes wide open, more than all of us put together. What a wonderful moment. We did everything on our bucket list and managed to find the bookshop that had captivated us for over 15 years, and they were captivated, too. We ended our stay with our hearts full and promised to return.
When we arrived at the airport, we promised Matias that it would only be one more plane. We were all in good shape and exhausted after these intense weeks; all we needed was our Mel to prepare for the start of the new year.
Everything went well, fortunately, with our arrival. Still, it was with some horror that we felt the effect of the wildfires in Los Angeles, with the air and water quality compromised, our balcony full of ash, and dozens of terrible stories from someone who knows someone who has lost everything. How is that possible? We really can't take anything for granted.
And here we've moved on from the unbelievable but bad uncertainties.
As was the case in Valencia, aid initiatives have also multiplied here, and human generosity has also shown that it can be unbelievable.
Unlike what happened in Valencia, the criticism of the management of this uncontrolled firestorm came pretty much only from the biggest demagogue I've ever met in these area.
However, the population in general is grateful for how civil protection reacted, the resources used, the mobilization of strategies, and the support of the community in general, which mobilized immediately.
Even if there were no drought, no limited water resources when required at the same time, and no winds with such high speeds, a firestorm of this size is difficult to predict and somewhat unbelievable. And the future of all those affected is uncertain.
After the fires came the "new administration." I don't have enough knowledge to predict whether this will be good or not on the economic level, which is so much talked about... In this area where we live, most of the people we meet are ashamed of the nonsense and measures that are already being taken. And beyond the measures, watching so many bizarre and frightening things live makes every aspect of the world in general, and America in particular, very uncertain!
I have the feeling, like my father, that there are many Americans who voted in favor, but many who voted against it and others who didn't vote at all! And the measures affect everyone's lives! It's frightening to think what could happen.
One "new administration" measure was to turn schools, hospitals, and churches into non-secure places for checking documentation, meaning that the ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) police could even enter classrooms. Glup!....
If students or teachers (like me!) are not "solid citizens" or don't have all the documents to prove that they are legal at the time, they can start deportation proceedings. On my campus, we had guidance on how to proceed.
Inform the officer that you are not obstructing their process, but that you do not have the authority to respond to their request
Direct the officer to Administration and Finance in Brotman Hall 320. Please make sure to report the interaction to your supervisor, director, AVP or dean.
If the officer does not accept the referral, contact your supervisor, director, AVP or dean. If you are unable to resolve the matter, contact University Police at 562-985-4101
I'm not sure about the palpitations that await me every time someone knocks on the door on Campus. Unbelievable.
When we met with the specialist attorney about possible scenarios that we should expect in this new administration, I thought that perhaps they were overdoing the precautions. It turns out they weren't. The uncertainty that these times bring is also unbelievable.
This week has been particularly intense.
A terrible aviation accident has happened. It's unbelievable how such an airplane and helicopter accident could occur. It's tough to understand. And just now, another plane has crashed in Philadelphia. How?!
I know that driving is much more dangerous, but my parents are on a spectacular trip through Asia, and these kinds of accidents shrink my heart.
The first stop was Bangkok to visit their "granddaughter" from Thailand, who lived with us in Parede three years ago. Unbelievable and incredible things happen when you don't let uncertainty take over.
Welcoming Prim into our home was one of the most beautiful adventures we've ever had.
I took a deep breath when they arrived in Thailand and sent us these delightful photos. They're safe with Prim's family, who we feel are part of our family, too.
Matias reached his 100th day of school, and to celebrate, they all dressed up as little old folks. Such adorable little old folks! My favorite, of course, but the curlers in the girls' hair and the teacher's pillow-stuffed backside were just amazing.
If there’s one thing my kids would love to bring back, it would be each of their respective schools—along with their teachers and friends, of course.
I already know it’s a top-notch school district in California, in the U.S., and consequently, in the world. But wow, what a captivating system!
Just this week, we had the privilege of sharing with our dear Berg friends all the rituals that celebrate the Chinese New Year - the Year of the Snake.
We thanked and asked three Gods and our Ancestors for everything we considered. And we bowed with our noses to the ground. Anything for good fortune!
And what a beautiful Chinese New Year's Eve. As far as I'm concerned, we could adopt this tradition too, among other things, because apart from the conviviality, the delicacies are delicious. And the red envelopes are the icing on the cake for the children.
It's been like this ever since we arrived here. Uncertain moments that become absolutely unbelievable and wonderful in equal measure.
Open-mindedness, both on our part and on the part of those who receive us. Genuine curiosity about us, and us about anything and everything. Space for everyone of all colors and creeds. No stress or reluctance.
This is diametrically opposed to what the orange demagogue proclaims. And his troupe of strange manners. Bishop Marian Budde, a badass woman, made a genuine appeal.
I have a crush on badasses, you see.
My children have been asked which place they like best, if they're happy to go back "for good". And they get distressed, with no answer, and problems of conscience because the reaction isn't immediate. There are things they like best about Seal Beach and California and things they prefer about Portugal and Spain.
After these questionnaires, it's a lot of work to calm the hearts, especially of the sisters baffled by not having an answer that satisfies everyone.
The new administration makes us think of a more uncertain future, that's true. But it doesn't make us like this wonderful community we live in at Seal Beach any less.
We have some practice managing uncertainty, but we also like comfort zones, so it's okay to be distressed without certainties. It's only human, so I hope these questions don't leave them feeling distressed next time.
Not being sure about what we want and wish to happen at the moment means that "our homes" are both wonderful.
We found the best houses, the best friends, the best neighbors. Plus, best grandparents, uncles, cousins, daughters from Thailand, and sisters-in-law.
So far, we've done a fantastic job making choices. False modesty seems to me to be worse than immodesty. And uncertainties are part of it.
If we've gotten it right so far, it's to be thanked.
Even in the most chilling uncertainties, there is room for unbelievable and beautiful moments in equal measure.
May it be a year of the Snake full of good fortune.
The world needs it.
