#23 Mahalo

Mahalo means to be grateful. Aloha has a number of beautiful meanings.

What a November...

The day before November begins, expectations are high for a party I never thought I'd enjoy in this way.

I've never found Carnival funny. I've always turned my nose up at themed parties, and if someone told me about disguises, I'd always find a way of running away literally.

So, in embracing the unknown, we went into our second year together in the spirit of perfecting our disguise as a family and laughing at our ridiculousness.

Matias had a parade at school, his Ms. Barr was at the top, and even the children's parents joined in the craziness.

Before going to campus, I thought it would be a good idea not to embark on the "all out" that my daughter Maria had prepared for us as a family costume. I stole a superhero cape from Matias, and I swear I walked into the classroom of a prestigious American University to meet students looking like this.

If someone had told me a year or so ago... I wouldn't have believed it.

After all the work was done, we picked Matias up early and joined many friends on Main Street for trick-or-treat. The sugar spike had already broken records at this point, and the amount of treats was piling up non-stop.

In the meantime, we made a technical stop at home to get ready for Halloween. We put on mummy pajamas, made of 100% organic cotton (at least they don't sting!), with spider webs that glow in the dark, matched our make-up, put bandages on our heads, and headed off for some more super-animated ridicule at the house of more friends who were equally amused by all the hilarious figures we had carefully put on.

Jenny, who I started introducing at social events as "my boss" a year ago, which always ended with her half-heartedly saying that we actually work together, is now the Chair of our department.

After this year, and after being much more than my research buddy, and the data collections being optimized to the point where we don't need to talk to know what each other has to do, and having broken all the records for efficiency in time management in the lab, there are also days when I get in the car and it seems like we've agreed to go dressed alike... on this day of collections when we met to go to the lab at dawn, I thought I'd report it. Even the shoes matched.

Now, I can only introduce her as "my friend Jenny, who also happens to be my boss."

She can't deny it, and in a month that celebrates being grateful, I've come to the conclusion that I'm very lucky with "Bosses". Mahalo!

The first of them all, 20 years ago (gulp!), my dear Ft. Júlia is still one of the people I turn to when I need to make decisions and with whom I keep in very close contact just to give and receive news about life in general. I've now come to the conclusion that, modesty aside, I'm very good with friends, neighbors, and bosses. I may be biased, but mine are really good.

Anyway, my current boss came dressed as Cruella, but not even her wig could disguise her sweet look. Her Colin came dressed as Ken. It was hilarious.

Maria got it right with our disguises because on the trick-or-treating pilgrimage, our glow-in-the-dark pyjamas caught the eye of the crowds. Several times, when we struggled to get the whole troupe back together, someone helped us by saying, "Are you looking for another identical little Mummie? He's over there!"

Brilliant Maria.

It was a very entertaining evening, and we had candies for the whole year, which was the balance.

The next day, there was no school. Maria was invited by one of her best friends to spend the day at Disney, and Mercedes invited four of her best friends to spend the day at the pool. It's November in California, and no one thinks a pool party is strange.

In the evening, as our way of showing love is to cook, we went to celebrate Nate's birthday with homemade lasagna and pizzas, cake, and madeleines. It was an intense day, but a good one.

The first part of the celebration included an all-boys program with hilarious twists.

The next day, we played soccer, with the Red Pandas having more fun than playing soccer. In the evening, we surprisingly ended Nate's birthday celebrations with a premiere of golf, good food, and better company.

The biggest fan of this new experience was Matias, who set a record on his first attempt and told us that he likes soccer and football but also loves golf.

And we're entering election week.

California is a Democratic state, and Kamala is from here, so although I've heard countless times that this would be the result, it wasn't obvious to us at all.

We invited Pamela and Amina to watch it together with expectations still high, and thinking that we were going to watch story happening.

We had a lovely dinner, but dessert started to go badly for us.

The climate of tolerance that we have experienced in this community and the open-mindedness with which we have been welcomed into this "bubble" where 4 Portugais fit does not match the hate speech and segregation that had so many supporters.

It was a real bewilderment for us and for the people with whom we are comfortable enough to comment on politics in this corner.

I was moved by Jimmy Kimel describing what happened that night in his monologue about this terrible night...

On my campus, the president's message was immediate, reinforcing that the results of these elections bring joy to some but uncertainty, fear, and anxiety to others. On our campus, we will continue to support the climate of tolerance and openness, and any hateful and racist behavior will be firmly repudiated.

In addition, the international relations department organized a talk with a lawyer specializing in immigrant and non-immigrant visas. Based on what had happened previously, the first time this president was elected, to alert people to the possibilities of changing visa opportunities and restrictions for those who have come to study, work, or research in the USA.

I've realized that I'm in a privileged situation compared to students who need to complete their studies to obtain academic degrees, that I don't come from a typically banned country, and that there are many possibilities if we want to stay here longer.

But all this gives us much to think about and a clearer perspective of where we want to go. What a bizarre situation two weeks after the results...

Even so, our experience has been incredible and has exceeded all expectations precisely because of the people we've met and identified with so much. I have to confess that I find the "Shame on you Americans" comments a little hard to take.

As if in Europe, we did everything beautifully, had an impeccable political strategic plan, zero corruption, and no extremist tendencies.

I'm neither American nor want to be anything other than Portuguese. I only agree to be Spanish if my husband decides to be Portuguese. That's the deal at home—each nut has its own quirks.

Portuguese and "Alfacinha," and as my friend Miguel said when I got married, it was enough to have married a Spaniard to provoke the first king of Portugal. Now, having that nationality, too, doesn't seem necessary to me. We're an Iberian family, and that's fine.

In this sense, one of the events that bitterly marked the month of November was the Valencian catastrophe, which included torrential rain and deadly floods. These were more deadly because of political disorganization, a lack of strategy in solving problems, and a delay in taking responsibility.

It was chaos that was difficult to watch from this distance, and I can't imagine what it would have been like to experience it up close. All of this, a disgrace in itself, happened in proportion to the spirit of mutual help and mission that many Valencians I love so much, and Spaniards in general, showed.

I bet the international criticism if it points the finger at Spaniards in general as if we could lump them all together and diminish them all at the same time, saying, "What a shame, they don't know how to manage serious problems, they're a mess, they can't govern themselves, and they won't let themselves be governed," won't be well received either—neither by the Spaniards nor by me.

Maybe I'm a bit Valencian. And American. And Alfacinha. And the mother of three naughty children who sometimes push me to the limit. But if someone comes along and points the finger at them other than me or their father, they're entitled to a frying pan to the head. And hard.

That's it, a similar feeling. I think there was less finger-pointing and superiority, and we were all much happier.

Radically changing the subject, my final-year students gave presentations on their research work in November.

Since I arrived, we've worked together for three semesters, and I was really proud when I saw them confident and empowered presenting and discussing their work.

One of the groups had an abstract accepted for the American Physical Therapy Congress, which is "THE" event in our field. We'll be presenting this work together in Houston next February. The other group was voted the best presentation by the finalist students. Mahalo!

Rejoicing supervisors.

Having the opportunity to mentor them with Jenny was a privilege; they were to be congratulated, but we received the flowers! They were hard-working students, but they were also such dear people that they touched me.

It's not very difficult, I know, but they really touched me, and I've just noticed that my students, friends, neighbors, and bosses are also really good. I'm really good at finding these people; pardon the immodesty.

I swear they are impeccable and brilliant, both in Portugal and in the USA. Proof of this was that almost at the same time, one of my Portuguese master's students, whom I've continued to follow from a distance, also defended her thesis, full of confidence, professionalism, and humility. I enjoyed watching her grow in this way so much that I got emotional, too.

I still have two more students defending their Master's thesis by the end of the year, and I confess that my expectations are high.

In the meantime, the living wheel makes time fly, and we had an uninterrupted lunch after 16 years of marriage with the best clam chowder I've ever tasted (thanks for the tip, Colin!) and started preparing for another great weekend.

On Saturday, the soccer season ended, the Red Pandas were our favorites among coaches and players, and the basketball season we loved so much began.

Last game, team party, prizes and gifts, and some super cute cupcakes.

In the afternoon I play at Walter Pyramid.

On Sunday, we prepared an early party for Matias's fifth birthday.

We have a host of friends who are increasingly dear to us, a cake song in three languages, lots of nice treats, and a full heart.

Matias, who was overjoyed, told everyone that he was almost five.

During the week, we went to Cristal Cove to celebrate our favorite Gabi's birthday, which coincidentally is the day before Matias's.

We had an excellent evening with the Tugo-Bulgarian family and a Cristal Cove that left us wanting to arrange another stay in this incredible spot and, while we're at it, with these unlikely friends, we love so much.

For Matias' birthday, his grandparents gave him a Tesla and his sisters a suitcase. That's promising! We've also put on the trailer for Moana 2 so they could guess what was in store for them at Thanksgiving.

Mercedes thought we were going to the movies. Maria asked tentatively if we were going to Hawaii, and Matias pointed at the screen, "If I have to go there, I don't want to; I'm scared!"

It looks like the trailer is intense...

On that day, although he couldn't share his birthday cake with his friends at school, he did get to read a dinosaur book dedicated to him in the school library and had a very sweet evening with his best friend.

He'd only be happier if he had his grandparents and uncles here, whom he had been begging by video call to get on two fast planes and fly all the way to California.

The grandmothers, poor things, in apnea, holding up the request almost stoically... only not.

Just before surprise week, Friendsgiving opened the celebrations of this American holiday, which I will import into our family traditions wherever we are in the future. Mahalo!

It was another delicious and lively evening in equal parts, our Mel with Amina's beloved grandparents and suitcases to finish packing for the tropical climate.

At dawn on Saturday, we set sail for Hawaii.

When we arrived at the port, Matias, who had heard about a boat, was again very sad. "What, now there's another boat after the plane? I don't want to go by boat. I want to go to Costa da Caparica."

But as soon as they put a shell necklace on him and taught him how to make the shaka, the boy started to change his mind, and now he says that we can always go on a boat vacation for him.

We did 4 Hawaiian islands, we were lucky with the weather, the crossings were always calm, the quality of the services on board exceeded all expectations, and what we visited was incredible. Incredible even gets small.

It seems that the Azores and Bali have come together in an explosion of islands that has resulted in the paradise that is Hawaii.
I used to think that cruises weren't my style of travel, but with these three children and their refined tastes, they now seem to me to be an ideal option for family travel. They explore different paradises during the day and party with programs for all ages at the end of the day. It's designed to make the experience unforgettable, and it's very well done.

Thanks to Janet, we came equipped for diving, eschewed the buffets and tours, and basically made our way around by renting cars, kayaks, and surfboards on each island.

Maui has waterfalls, natural pools, stunning beaches, idyllic roads, and the first encounter with the much-loved sea turtles.

I've wanted to see sea turtles for as long as I can remember. We were able to get up close and personal with these wonderful creatures as they rested on the sand, but we had no idea that we would be able to swim with them—several times.

Incredible is too tiny as an adjective. Mahalo!

On the second day in Maui, the sisters started saying that if the trip had ended right then, they would have already loved it. And it just kept getting better.

Hilo is home to the best chocolate, rainbow waterfalls, volcanic landscapes, trails through the lava tunnel and the crater of the most active volcano on the planet, black sand beaches, and the smell of salt, and wet earth...

In Kona, in addition to the top beaches and idyllic landscapes, it was family voted the best spot for diving, with the fish we know from the aquariums swimming with us. And turtles too. Thrills all round.

We arrived in Kawai on Thanksgiving and drove straight to Waimea Canyon, also known as the Grand Canyon of the Pacific. It's not as immense as the Grand Canyon (where we were exactly one year ago), but the colors of the red rock and the trees make this hole, which also gave me goosebumps and an equally breathtaking landscape.

In the afternoon, we were on a beach with 27 turtles (the children counted them), swam with 2 Hawaiian Monk Seals, and watched an incredible sunset.

It isn't easy to process so much landscape, emotion, and beautiful information at the same time.

On our second day in Kawai, we started by heading north to visit Hanalei Bay, an idyllic beach where the Pirates of the Caribbean movie was filmed, but the sea was so rough that we didn't even get close to the edge.

We went down to explore the rest of the island and had a picnic in yet another incredible spot.

There were so many fish here that Matias decided there were too many and too big for him not to look at them.

We ended the cruise convinced that there was a before and after.

The sweetest waiter of all said goodbye to us with flowers and turtles for everyone, praising the kids' behavior and politeness and their mastery of cutlery management. He made us proud, happy, and even more grateful. Mahalo!

Although we push them to the limit of tiredness, they seem to know how to behave (outside the house) and enjoy every possible nap.

Matias still wants to go to Costa da Caparica, but he also says that all he wants to do now is get back on the boat.

We arrived in Honolulu for our last stop. We visited Pearl Habour with a feeling of a punch in the stomach, and after so much tension, the kids asked to stay on the beach.

The best baths and trails, and once again a fantastic sunset.

We liked it so much that after sleeping in Honolulu, for the few hours of our last day in this paradise, we were asked to return to Waikiki, and we didn't have to insist.

I promised Pedro Seixas that we'd surf these warm waters with nice waves for all levels, and that's what we (almost) did—at least the little ones.

I'm writing on the plane and still processing this November.

Pure fun, everyone's professional achievements, terrible nights, anguishing uncertainties, natural disasters, celebrations of life, incredible surprises and a visit to several unparalleled paradises. "Life is a rolercoaster" from my teenage years fits this month like a glove.

Our top 3 must-see places in these latitudes are all mixed up.

But Hawaii is on the podium, without a doubt. What a great luck.

Aloha Hawaii.

Mahalo.