#19 The power in you
![Patrícia Mota](https://www.datocms-assets.com/104915/1691556324-1679036813376.jpeg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&fit=crop&h=100&sat=-100&w=100)
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![Patrícia Mota](https://www.datocms-assets.com/104915/1691556324-1679036813376.jpeg?auto=format&crop=focalpoint&fit=crop&h=100&sat=-100&w=100)
May was by far the busiest month of activities since we arrived here.
Decisions and authorizations about the future, art festivals, state testings, the final stretch of the school year, rehearsals for all kinds of end-of-year shows, tryouts for the sports of the following years, girl scout camps, information sessions about the schools they'll be going to next year, awards nights, graduations/promotions/whatever the ceremony is called (the 3 of them change schools and celebrate the end of the cycle), end-of-year loop parties, and the start of a new work project. And visits that warm your heart... and I've been more emotional this month than during my entire stay...
After a lot of thought, and contacting the respective parts of our professional anchors in Portugal, we are going to extend our stay by another year. When we presented the proposal to the family team, the reaction was immediate.
We want to stay. Without hesitation.
It's still scary, and we warned them that the project has been extended for another year, and that August 2025 is the end of the project, after which, if everything continues as it is, we'll return to our west coast in Europe. And the sisters argued that that's fine, but if we have another year to continue getting to know this coast and this community, and everything we're entitled to, let's make the most of it and return with our luggage fuller of the world.
It's inevitable to compare the reactions of the sisters with their attitude a year ago, expectant but full of uncertainty.
When we set out on this adventure, the thing that frightened both of us the most was failure.
In school, in tests, challenges, and adapting to change. They said things like, what if I don't get good grades? What if I don't have any friends? What if I can't explain what I need to and I'm alone? What if I get lost and don't know where we live? What if ...
And we tried, badly or not, to take the weight off our fears. We even said, if you don't achieve the expected results and we go back to Portugal and you have to repeat the year, that's okay! What we're going to experience and what we're going to learn can't be learned in books!
But this conversation didn't go well because we distressed them even more...
Returning to Portugal and having to do it all over again, and repeat the year...!
But is everything crazy? I don't want that!
Me neither!
Crying and tears aside, we changed tack immediately to reassure them that we were sure that wouldn't happen, that we would all try our best, and that anyone who needed help had to immediately ask for all kinds of help at home and school, and that we promised not to disregard their fears and to take it easy when we tried to put it into perspective so as not to upset them any further, and always to be available. Even if we didn't sleep. When they got home, we could help them with whatever they needed from school.
And so it was.
I returned to this photo of nervous smiles at the start of this year a few days ago...
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The 3 siblings were true ambassadors and intermediaries of the most delightful international relationships, and I'm absolutely sure that despite all the stumbles and bumps in the road since we first thought of coming, the Universe was kind to have put the people we met during this year on our paths, from work colleagues, students, friends, teachers, and staff at the 3 different schools, neighbors, coaches, in short, the whole community we landed in was facilitating this huge process.
May provide an opportunity to see and celebrate all of this.
We started by attending the arts evening at Maria's school.
She told us that we would see the choir to which she belongs and that she had gotten a solo.
I've tried to apologize several times because although honesty is one of the things I've raised my children to value when Maria asked me if I thought it was right for her to audition for a solo, I asked her if it was to dance or to sing.
When she explained to me that it was to sing, I tried to talk her out of it by making the analogy with two words that I regret: "parrot in agony."
I'm sure that when I tell my children that the results of their work are incredible, they'll believe me because I also use "parrots in agony" to explain what I think of some of their projects.
Angry Maria rehearsed independently, auditioned, and got a solo line. And I swallowed the unconstructive feedback I gave her. In addition to the artistic demonstration of everything done during the year, the choir sang that evening. Maria shone and looked nothing like a parrot, and then they offered the flower they had chosen to someone special.
Amina, whom we bumped into on the day of the locker set-up, who waited for Maria for lunch on the first day of school, who taught her a series of cool expressions and local flavors, who guided her in choosing the company to be with, who introduced her to a series of impeccable girls, and who integrated her into the Girl Scouts group, received the flower.
And Maria told her, "thank you for making my life so much easier at school this year. You are an amazing friend."
![Img: flower, rose, face, person, smile, pants, flower arrangement, female, girl, teen](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.datocms-assets.com%2F104915%2F1717899411-img_2180.jpeg%3Fauto%3Dformat%26crop%3Dfocalpoint%26fit%3Dclamp%26w%3D700&w=3840&q=75)
And the mothers watched and stood by stoically, but I had a hard time not falling apart.
Pamela, the mother of this incredible girl and who welcomed Maria into the Girl Scouts, where she is a leader, can only be proud of the genuine generosity that her teenage daughter showed Maria.
To round off this year's Girl Scouts program, we held a mother-daughter camp at Camp Sherman with various team-building activities, sports, hikes, and a symbolic transition to seniors. Everything was prepared with individualized messages to each of them and plenty of opportunities to watch friends interact.
I loved it.
In one of the activities, the daughters were instructed to place the "boat" horizontally during a full "row row row your boat" song.
They discussed strategy and failed 327 times. Only when they actually managed to function as a whole did they complete the challenge, and it took them a long time.
Then they challenged the mothers' group to do the same, and off we went, used to being mocked by teenagers.
But no!
We got it straight away, and the look on their faces when we got it the first time was priceless. And hilarious! As Pamela says:
"TAKE THAT GIRLS!... WOHOOOO!!!"
It was a weekend of introspection and gratitude.
A year ago, who would have thought that we would be integrated like this, in the middle of nowhere, with a group of good women, and have the opportunity to live this experience?
And singing in the open air.
We said goodbye to Camp Sherman with grateful and shrunken hearts, and before heading home, we still had the chance to visit an ice rink where Amina had an appointment.
I love this video that illustrates what this year has been like for teenagers.
What great luck!
We returned home, and although Father Rodrigo had managed all the little ones' affairs masterfully, it was getting home and dealing with the chaos that ensued instantly.
Matias goes to paint (a cause for applause for those looking forward to seeing their little boy finally take an interest in crayons), but then Matias bumps into his middle sister, and his parents are reluctant to go to the emergency room.
Mercedes was then worried about her ability to smile at the start of awards night week, where the sisters received invitations. Apparently her lower lip has recovered well from the splinter her brother's head gave her and everything is now in place.
We don't know if there are any awards in pre-school because Matias hasn't received any invitations for his family members to be award winners. It could just be that there are no prizes in this category, but in fact, there aren't any here.
The first awards night was Maria's. She received 2 awards and assured us that there was no point in filming anymore as she was no longer qualified in the other categories.
Since she's sometimes intense, she insisted that I didn't record any more awards, and I gave in. It was worth a movie of one of her friends' mothers recording the Outstanding Academic Excellence Award, which is apparently a big deal that stays on her transcript forever.
The time it takes for Maria to get up and our non-reaction show the surprise.
It looks like she won't be repeating the year after all! I'm so proud.
Surrounding herself with good friends, academically awarded, and cute as hell, she exceeded all expectations, and we're sure that the context also greatly influences success.
So once again, we thank the Universe and our surroundings.
We left the awards in a hurry to drop Rodrigo off at the airport to go to NY.
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We promised a detailed report for the Mercedes awards evening, and we went off the next day.
Despite a restrained smile with a lip that still wasn't OK, she went off all happy just for the nomination.
Despite all her fears, she worked like crazy, read all 40 books in 40 weeks, came home with confetti in her hair, and was proud to have received invitations for her family to attend the awards night she was invited to.
She got the same Outstanding Academic Excellence Award as her sister, and the teacher also gave her the school's star award (Heart and Soul), and we couldn't hold it together.
After the awards, the season of promotions/graduations began.
The next day began on my campus with my dear students.
I have a crush on the student category, but I still think I always get the best ones. Although I was only with this group for the final stretch, I was pleased to see them finish like this...
That evening, uncles Marcos and Miguel arrived.
With so many people in the world, it's amazing how some of the most interesting people there are are family!
As always, it's been a wonderful few days, and although my children don't see them as often as we'd like, they react as if they see them every day.
Even Matias, who has more memory than he looks like, jumped straight in and didn't let go the whole time!
We had a surprise birthday dinner and brought a group of superheroes to celebrate Uncle Miguel's 40th birthday!
Uncle Miguel attacked the Madalenas ahead of time, and we could see that we wouldn't be able to surprise him with a homemade pastry specialty. It was a close call!
Meanwhile, to round off the weekend, Rodrigo had arranged a paella with one of the couples we met in the community, and what seemed like an informal lunch at their house turned out to be a mega party, with paella as the main course for more than 40 people.
Our eyes bugged out when we realized how small the paella was, so we ventured to make a mega tortilla to add to it and give to the dozens of guests for lunch.
When we got there, the size of the paellas made us realize that we were going to have to be creative. We also realized that the generosity of the locals is still at an all-time high.
They asked if what they had prepared for starters was similar to what we missed, made with delicacies they had ordered online.
In addition to the chicken paella without bunny (I had to debone the chicken to fit the rice—focus on creativity), there was a paella with cod and a lot of other fish and seafood, Port wine, and Mariza playing on a loop. Every family that arrived brought either a tapa or a dessert, including flan de huevos, various drinks, and a wonderful atmosphere.
It was as if we had suddenly given lunch to a group of new friends in a house that, although it wasn't ours, felt like it was!
Heartfelt thanks to the hosts.
In the meantime, I've started the intensive summer course I was invited to. Despite the initial stress of preparing a course for the first time, the colleagues, the logistics, the infrastructure, and most importantly, the students' energy have already captivated me.
I end up melting every time I teach this 4-hour class, but I am very happy.
And this week was also Maria's promotion day.
In the run-up to this event, we received an email asking for permission to mention Maria during the speech, and we immediately said that we were flattered by such an offer.
Maria received a large selection of dresses from her cousins in Chicago, and Elaine took care of the hairdresser.
I'm a little suspicious, but she looked stunning.
Before the ceremony, the Principal asked Maria: "Did your mother tell you anything?" and Maria asked, confused, "About what?" and he said, "Great!" and went on stage!
However, when the Principal, Mr. Coutermarch, began his speech, although we knew what to expect more or less, I had some difficulty keeping the film steady...
Maria's story at this school couldn't have been told better...
At a time like this, we were reminded that life is a series of relationships, and the value of life lies in the value we place on those relationships. Inspired by the journey his children took us on, we all got emotional.
I'm sure that during Maria's time at this school, she always felt supported and valued.
The applause from her peers wiped out stoicism from the creature's parents.
And then they sang what they'd been rehearsing for so long, and I didn't hear any parrots, and I just wondered why I hadn't remembered to bring tissues or a whole roll of paper...
At the end of the ceremony, the guests that Mimi had made a point of bringing, and who call her "framily", showered her with treats, and I thought again about the tissues...
There are no words to properly thank every one of those who have crossed our paths in this place... and who have made our children love each of the schools.
Afterward, we celebrated with Italian food, and I hope to remember this happy day many times, and always on sleepless nights...
![Img: people, person, t-shirt, chandelier, photography, portrait, pants, adult, female, woman](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.datocms-assets.com%2F104915%2F1718039925-img_7673.jpeg%3Fauto%3Dformat%26crop%3Dfocalpoint%26fit%3Dclamp%26w%3D700&w=3840&q=75)
The next day, feeling not recovered, I attended the International Week event, where I volunteered to help present Spain!
The presentation was at Mercedes' school, and Maria had the day off, so the three of us were prepared to run in front of the bulls.
I stayed for the art part and loved the Picasso-style bulls the 1st graders decorated. Then we did an interactive presentation, danced flamenco and the Macarena, and ate tapas.
All a success!
And as long as I can remember, I won't be volunteering for events like this again!
What an endless work!
Meanwhile, Matias is moving on to the grown-up school and also has his graduation party.
A picnic-style celebration, and he's was so proud of his work and introducing us to all the teachers. He speaks three languages, or three languages badly, I'm not sure.
But here at school, he makes himself understood without any problems. Congratulations Matias...
Finally, it was the last day of school, and at the same time, the Mercedes "clap out." They held a promotion-style ceremony, with touching speeches, of course, and music that got us going again.
"And it's time to say goodbye, but don't cry... this is our time!"
...and the "clap-out," which is like saying a human corridor made up of all the teachers, staff, and students from the school from the other years, the parents and families at the end of the corridor applauding and wishing these finalists all the best as they leave the school!...
After the party, on the last day of school, it seems it's tradition to meet up at the beach, and after the only child lunch, Cuca went to meet her friends!
Seal Beach was in full force on the beach. Maria went there for lunch with her friends, and after the beach, they both went to graduation parties at friends' houses.
We had dinner with Matias alone and couldn't believe how quickly this had happened!
![Img: summer, waterfront, person, portrait, child, female, girl, t-shirt, sea, beach](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.datocms-assets.com%2F104915%2F1718040338-img_7826.jpeg%3Fauto%3Dformat%26crop%3Dfocalpoint%26fit%3Dclamp%26w%3D700&w=3840&q=75)
Let summer begin!
The difference between the first and last day of school is abysmal.
Maria wanted to run away...
Mercedes hid in the bathroom so many times...
Matias seemed to be developing Selective Mutism...
We asked Maria never to run away. To try to talk and make friends as a teenager without being fluent.
We asked Mercedes to go to the bathroom only if the wellness room, where silence is mandatory, was occupied.
We let Matias try to communicate without correcting him so that he could start speaking another language at school.
And we have a lot more gray hair.
But I'm also sure it's a privilege to share this life-changing experience with our family.
And I deeply hope that they will remember their power to change life's trajectories in every situation where they are tempted to run away, hide, or remain silent.
As the main Mr. Courtemarch says:
"Use that power for good, and goodness will power you."